Preliminary plat for Orange Julius approved

INTERCOURSE, Pa. — A plan by mall singer and Breakfast at Tiffany co-owner Tiffany to build an Orange Julius in town received preliminary plat approval on Wednesday night from the Intercourse Planning Commission.
The controversial project now moves on to a yet-to-be scheduled public hearing.
"Tiffany has gone through all of the proper channels with this plan," said Jonas Martin, president of the planning commission. "She has followed this to the letter of the Amish law, so we had no choice but to approve it."
Under the plan, the Amish people would raise an Orange Julius on Main Street. The plan includes seating for 15 and enough room to park four horses and buggies.
The lack of electricity in town did not faze Tiffany, who is determined to go through with the plan despite objections from the majority of Intercourse residents.
"I'm confident that the Amish will accept my plan, and this could serve as a place where teens hang out and will be a deterrent to violent crime here," the mall singer said. "Once they taste an Orange Julius, they will be happy it's here."
Due to the lack of electricity, which would power the blenders needed to create the variety of Julius drinks, Tiffany said her employees would have to churn the concoctions by hand. Tiffany estimated that the time to make an Orange Julius would increase from about a minute to nearly 15 minutes.
"I understand the obstacles in opening an Orange Julius here, but I'm going full speed ahead," said Tiffany, who weighed in at 135 pounds, therefore staying within Tiffany at Breakfast co-owner Tim Shea's required weight range of between 135 and 140 pounds.
Tiffany is expected to face a firestorm of criticism during the public hearing that is required in order for the Orange Julius to be built.
"I'm nervous about the hearing, but I'm ready to face them," Tiffany said. "Basically, I'll listen to their complaints and then I'll tell them to just chill out. And what better way to do that than drinking a refreshing Orange Julius."
Plans for a roller grill to cook hot dogs and various sausages have been put on hold by Tiffany until the Amish "wake up and get into the 19th century and bring some electricity here," she said. "How do these Amish kids recharge their iPods? Man, that Frank Benjamin dude like never would have invented electricity if he knew these people."
Tiffany declined comment on the rumors that she also is planning to open a Sbarro Italian Eatery and Disney Store in the near future.