INTERCOURSE, Pa. — As the Amish begin to adjust to life with Tiffany, Tiffany at Breakfast co-owner Tim Shea talked about the assets that the former mall singing sensation brings to the franchise.
"First, it's not like she's on the road all the time, so she'll have plenty of time to perform her co-owner duties," Shea said. "If(former co-owner) Thea (Andrews) wants to spend the rest of her life tracking down the Joey Buttafucco-Amy Fisher romance or some other 'shocking revelation,' then so be it."
Shea also revealed a clause in Tiffany's co-owner clause that she weigh between 134 and 140 pounds in order to stay at her "peak of adorability."
"I'm sure Tiffany would like to be lighter than that, but I adore her the way she is now," Shea said. "Anyway, once you start eating the foods that the Amish make, it's hard to look like a supermodel."
Shea then shocked the media assembled at Tuesday's press conference with a "shocking revelation."
"Has anyone checked out Tiffany's rack yet," Shea said.
"I love her rack," Shea continued. "She's got nutmeg, anise and cilantro — man, she has an incredible rack.
"Basil, cinnamon, cumin, sage — have you checked out her rack lately? It's one sensational rack.
"I never noticed her rack when she was at the peak of her popularity 20 years ago. I don't know if she had thyme, saffron or ginger then. But holy cow, her rack must have gotten a lot bigger after her second album. I mean, her rack really stands out.
"Not only does she have juniper and tarragon, but she even has asafoetida and nigella. That's a well-rounded rack.
"She talks about wanting to make her rack smaller, but you can't get rid of sesame or licorice or caraway. I mean, she has a perfect rack right now."
Upon hearing Shea's comments about Tiffany, radio sports talk show host Jim Rome said very little.
"Rack it," Rome said.
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