Dennis Miller hired as Showering With Tiffany analyst

INTERCOURSE, Pa. — Are the Amish ready for this?
Former "Saturday Night Live" cast member Dennis Miller, who spent two years in the booth with Al Michaels and Dan Fouts on "Monday Night Football," has been hired as an analyst for Showering With Tiffany games in the 2007 season.
"We feel this is a great hire for us," Showering With Tiffany co-owner Tim Shea said Thursday. "He's got a great sense of humor. And hopefully, he's learned the rules of football by now, which would make him even better."
Miller was introduced to the media, and immediately began confusing those assembled at the press conference with his vague references, including life in medieval Europe in the 1500s as it relates to LaDanian Tomlinson's record breaking season, and how a Robert Frost poem takes him back to the time when he appeared in "Disclosure" with Michael Douglas.
Miller also took a couple of shots at the Amish.
"I was driving in here yesterday and I'm like, "Where the freakin' hell am I?" Miller said while Shea laughed uproariously. "These people look like the security detail at Kabul International Airport. Is bin Laden holed up here?
"And what about these buggies? I can imagine Jeff Gordon negotiating one of those through turn 3 at Talladega. He'd probably blow by it except for the fact that he'd put on the brakes so he could pet Secretariat."
Miller then directed a rant at Shea and his choice of co-owners.
"You trade in (former co-owner) Thea Andrews for Tiffany?" a perplexed Miller asked. "Gee, I've got a $1 bill in my pocket. Think I can swap a Benjamin for it?
"You must have gone to the Minnesota Vikings school of football management. Way to trade all those draft choices for Herschel Walker."
Miller then turned to Shea's co-owner Tiffany and spewed more invective her way.
"You moving into Amish country is like George Jefferson movin' on up to that deluxe apartment in the sky," Miller said as the 35-year-old mall singer fought back tears. "Man, what the hell happened to your career? You went down faster than a cheap hooker in an Amsterdam alleyway.
"So you go on 'Celebrity Fit Club' to revive your career? Wake up, cha cha, it flatlined 18 years ago! Leonard Nimoy is still going in search of you. Maybe it's time for him to hit The Salvation Army."
Miller then speculted on Shea's chances of repeating as champion with his new co-owner.
"Yeah, let's see what happens at the draft," Miller said. "Can't wait until the seventh round, when you're deciding between Eli Manning and Wayne Gretzky. I'm sure Tiffany will be a big help around round 12, when she realizes you still need a power forward. You've got as much of a chance of repeating as Paris Hilton does of winning an Oscar in the lifetime achievement category."
Miller will be paired with a yet-to-be determined play-by-play announcer. Shea was noncommital on whether he would consider a three-man booth that would include Dick Vitale.